ironychan:

Ironychan Presents: ten animals that used to be way bigger than they are now.

I’ve done a couple of posts (here and here) featuring modern animals that look prehistoric.  This is the opposite: prehistoric animals that look strikingly like their modern relatives, except for the part where they were PANTS-SHITTINGLY GIGANTIC.  (Pictures from all over the Internet, chosen with an emphasis on ones that show just how pants-shittingly gigantic these beasts were.)

ALLIGATORS - Deinosuchus rugosus (Late Cretaceous)
Looked very much like an ordinary alligator such as you might find in your backyard if you’re unfortunate enough to live in Florida - except that it was about forty feet long and weighed darn near twenty thousand pounds.  This animal literally ate dinosaurs for breakfast, and I can’t think of anything more supremely badass than that.

SEA TURTLES - Archelon ischyros (Late Cretaceous)
The genus name of this bad boy means ‘king of the turtles’ and I don’t think anybody’s gonna argue.  Built very much like a modern leatherback, Archelon was a good fifteen feet long and tipped the scales at five thousand pounds.  Paleontologists speculate that they ate giant squid, probably because they can’t think of anything else that would sustain a turtle this big.

SHARKS - Carcharocles megalodon (Early Pleistocene)
Megalodon looked enough like a modern Great White Shark that some scientists place it in the same genus, but it was bigger than any great white outside of an Italian horror movie: sixty feet long with a gape you could drive a car into.  It ate whales, which we know because we’ve found fossil whale bones with giant shark teeth still stuck in them.
 
CONDORS - Argentavis magnificens (Late Miocene)
Lest you think the sea had a monopoly on gargantuan nightmare beasts, I give you the largest flying bird that ever lived, with a wingspan of some twenty-five feet.  Most likely a scavenger, this is a bird that could literally have carried off a human corpse, had there been any humans in South America six million years ago.

MILLIPEDES - Arthropleura armata (Late Carboniferous)
Do you hate creepy-crawlies?  Don’t go time-travelling.  Arthropleura was a millipede eight feet long.  It was the biggest land-based invertebrate that ever lived, and one of the largest land animals of its time, period.  Scientists believe it was a peaceful herbivore, but should you disregard my advice about time travel, you probably still want to avoid pissing it off.

MONITOR LIZARDS - Megalania prisca (Late Pleistocene)
The largest living lizard is the Komodo Dragon, which is a pretty gigantic and horrifying animal on its own.  Scientists disagree on how big Megalania was, but most estimates range from twenty to thirty feet, and like its modern relatives, it was also venomous.  Astonishingly, these were around only forty thousand years ago, and the first people to settle in Australia probably saw them.  Even more astonishingly, those people stayed in Australia.

PENGUINS - Kairuku grebneffi (Late Oligocene)
Penguins are, let’s face it, pretty silly-looking things.  We watch them waddle around in the zoo and laugh at them, while we forget that they also get pretty big - an emperor penguin stands four feet tall.  Kairuku was as much as a foot taller and fifty pounds heavier.  This was a penguin that could kick your ass in a fight or in a diving contest: it could go deeper and faster than any living penguin.

BOA CONSTRICTORS - Titanoboa cerrejonensis (Paleocene)
Snakes swallow their dinners whole - a good-sized boa can swallow a sheep.  This snake could have swallowed a goddamn hippo.  It probably got to be fifty feet long, weighed between two and three thousand pounds, and was so big around that you couldn’t have given it a hug - although it certainly could have given you one.  I have no idea what it ate, and I suspect that nobody else does, either.

DRAGONFLIES - Meganeura brongniarti (Late Carboniferous)
At the same time as Arthropleura were rustling through the undergrowth on god knows how many legs, Meganeura was flitting around above the prehistoric swamps.  If your car hit one of these on the highway, the results would be much more dramatic than a splat on the windshield.  With a wingspan of over two feet it was the largest flying insect ever, and probably ate things like fish and amphibians as well as other insects.

ORANGUTANS - Gigantopithecus blacki (Pleistocene)
Orangutans are already big enough to beat the shit out of you if they want to.  If Gigantopithecus stood on its hind legs it would have been almost ten feet tall, and most likely weighed in at around twelve hundred pounds.  This animal could have tossed you around like the Hulk beating Loki-shaped dents in the floor of Stark Tower.  Some people have suggested that it still roams the isolated woods of the world and is occasionally reported as bigfoot, in which case I humbly suggest we leave it the fuck alone.

odd-squad:

Mt. Currie Stage, Pemberton BC, July 20

odd-squad:

Mt. Currie Stage, Pemberton BC, July 20

(Source: Odd-Squad, via odd-squad)

peetaismyhero:

Summer Movie Extravaganza → Transformers (2007) [insp]

I’m not ok, alright? I’m losing my mind a little bit. Getting chased by my car right now. Gotta go.

kn0wy0u:

Megan Fox 
@ kn0wy0u.tumblr.com

kn0wy0u:

Megan Fox
@ kn0wy0u.tumblr.com

part-of-your-worldd:

snaaep:

lexandrochka-10:

The last day of Harry Potter.

NOT OKAY

IM CRYING

(Source: fallin-darrens-pheromones, via the-absolute-best-posts)

theoddcollection:

I read the story on 9gag a long time ago and it’s still sort of creepy. 

"In June of 1972, a woman appeared in Cedar Senai hospital in nothing but a white gown covered in blood. Now this in itself should not be too surprising as people often have accidents nearby and come to the nearest hospital for medical attention. But there were two things that caused people who saw her to vomit and flee in terror.

The first, being that she wasn’t exactly human. She resembled something close to a mannequin, but had the dexterity and fluidity of a normal human being. Her face, was as flawless as a mannequins, devoid of eyebrows and smeared in make-up. That’s the other reason people were throwing up or fleeing in terror.

She had a kitten clenched in between her teeth, her jaws clamped so unnaturally tightly around it to the point where no teeth could be seen, the blood was still squirting out over her gown and onto the floor. She then pulled it out of her mouth, tossed it aside and collapsed.

From the moment she stepped through the entrance to when she was taken to a hospital room and cleaned up before being prepped for sedation, she was completely calm, expressionless and motionless. The doctors had thought it best to restrain her until the authorities could arrive and she did not protest. They were unable to get any kind of response from her and most staff members felt too uncomfortable to look directly at her for more than a few seconds.

But the second the staff tried to sedate her, she fought back with extreme force. Two members of staff holding her down as her body rose up on the bed with that same, blank expression.

She turned her emotionless eyes towards the male doctor and did something unusual. She smiled.

As she did, the female doctor screamed and let go out of shock. In the womans mouth were not human teeth, but long, sharp spikes. Too long for her mouth to close fully without causing any damage…

The male doctor stared back at her for a moment before asking “What in the hell are you?”

She cracked her neck down to her shoulder to observe him, still smiling.

There was a long pause, the security had been alerted and could be heard coming down the hallway.

As he heard them, she darted forward, sinking her teeth into the front of his throat, ripping out his jugular & letting him fall to the floor, gasping for air as he choked on his own blood.

She stood up and leaned over him, her face coming dangerously close to his as the life faded from his eyes.

She leaned closer and whispered in his ear.

“I…am….God….”

The doctors eyes filled with fear as he watched her calmly walk away to greet the security men. His last ever sight would be watching her feast on them one by one.

The female doctor who survived the incident named her “The Expressionless”.

There was never a sighting of her again.”

theoddcollection:

I read the story on 9gag a long time ago and it’s still sort of creepy.

"In June of 1972, a woman appeared in Cedar Senai hospital in nothing but a white gown covered in blood. Now this in itself should not be too surprising as people often have accidents nearby and come to the nearest hospital for medical attention. But there were two things that caused people who saw her to vomit and flee in terror.

The first, being that she wasn’t exactly human. She resembled something close to a mannequin, but had the dexterity and fluidity of a normal human being. Her face, was as flawless as a mannequins, devoid of eyebrows and smeared in make-up. That’s the other reason people were throwing up or fleeing in terror.

She had a kitten clenched in between her teeth, her jaws clamped so unnaturally tightly around it to the point where no teeth could be seen, the blood was still squirting out over her gown and onto the floor. She then pulled it out of her mouth, tossed it aside and collapsed.

From the moment she stepped through the entrance to when she was taken to a hospital room and cleaned up before being prepped for sedation, she was completely calm, expressionless and motionless. The doctors had thought it best to restrain her until the authorities could arrive and she did not protest. They were unable to get any kind of response from her and most staff members felt too uncomfortable to look directly at her for more than a few seconds.

But the second the staff tried to sedate her, she fought back with extreme force. Two members of staff holding her down as her body rose up on the bed with that same, blank expression.

She turned her emotionless eyes towards the male doctor and did something unusual. She smiled.

As she did, the female doctor screamed and let go out of shock. In the womans mouth were not human teeth, but long, sharp spikes. Too long for her mouth to close fully without causing any damage…

The male doctor stared back at her for a moment before asking “What in the hell are you?”

She cracked her neck down to her shoulder to observe him, still smiling.

There was a long pause, the security had been alerted and could be heard coming down the hallway.

As he heard them, she darted forward, sinking her teeth into the front of his throat, ripping out his jugular & letting him fall to the floor, gasping for air as he choked on his own blood.

She stood up and leaned over him, her face coming dangerously close to his as the life faded from his eyes.

She leaned closer and whispered in his ear.

“I…am….God….”

The doctors eyes filled with fear as he watched her calmly walk away to greet the security men. His last ever sight would be watching her feast on them one by one.

The female doctor who survived the incident named her “The Expressionless”.

There was never a sighting of her again.”

(Source: supernaturalsoul, via jessiecasimiro)

(via carmennab)

kanyewest-daily:

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kanyewest-daily:

That cools kanyewest